Something you hear said often when getting ready to play in a lesson or audition or whatever is “please feel free to play a few notes first” or similar. After you play those notes though and actually start playing there are other thoughts that may run through the heads of your listeners. Such as the following, compiled in part by a source:
Please feel free to …
- Get the water out of your 3rd valve slide
- Oil your valves
- Make the “horse lips” noise a few more times
- Mutter under your breath
- Practice your scales before I hear you play anything else again
- Play any of the printed dynamics
- Play the slurs printed in the music
- Play in a less mechanical manner
- Take a bigger breath
- Play multiple bar phrases
- Finger all the notes of the sight-reading before starting
- Drop your slides on the floor
- Work on your low range
- Work on your high range
- Play with a better tone
- Learn how to properly place the right hand in the bell
- Learn all the chromatic fingerings on your horn
- Play a whole tone scale starting a fifth away from the starting note that was requested for a major scale
- Warm-up before I hear you play anything
- Take a bath and wash your clothes before next time
- Turn off your cell phone
- Practice
The list could go on and on. Bottom line: don’t leave your listener thinking thoughts like any of the above.
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